Find Your Life Mission
Let me see, I want to learn…
Granny said that while I was preparing to blend more than two pounds of sliced papaya with some water, which would be my lunch for that day.
She was 95 years old, walked with some difficulty, but had a sharp mind and I loved her, although sometimes I would be angry with some of her statements and the way she usually would be reproving my way of eating.
So, it seemed amazing that she was curious about what I was preparing.
I felt a little embarrassed by the simplicity of what I was doing, because she certainly was used to much more complex cooked food recipes.
But at the same time I felt that this was a huge opportunity to share my raw vegan diet that was making wonders in my health and life.
So I quickly answered with some proud and maybe elevating a little the tone of my voice: “I just cut the papaya in slices and pieces put them in the blender with some water and ice cubes and blend. As easy as it can be.”
She nodded and turned slowly already going out of her small kitchen in her 7th floor 3-bedroom apartment, which had been the stage for so many family reunions during more than 50 years, some of them good, others a little stressed for me, who always felt like a black sheep between them.
Seeing she was walking away, I added: “By the way, you have a very good blender!”
Which led me to hear her answer: “It’s yours. Take it for you, once I die.”
Hearing that “dying discourse” for the millionth time again I just remained in silence, because I was used to this kind of talk and didn’t want to go that direction.
From all her 5 grandchildren I was the oldest and the only one who had lived with her and my grandpa for 5 years in that very same apartment while I was going to college and my master’s degree course.
But I was also the only one who lived far away for many years. Some months in Germany, 5 years in Italy, 2 years in Japan, 4 months in the USA, 3 years in Curitiba and 10 years in Londrina, the city where I live now.
While I was in Italy, my mother died in a car accident. Since that, granny took her place and became like a mother to me, wanting to be in contact weekly, sending birthday gifts to me, my wife and my daughter, and wanting us as close as possible.
And I think it was some time before going to Japan that we agreed that I would call her once a week, every Sunday. Then, some years later, I proposed and she accepted that I would call her on Wednesday too.
So our relationship was kept through 2 phone calls a week and one Christmas and perhaps some more visits during the years.
Although she just had completed 95 years two months earlier, I remembered hearing that “dying discourse” since I was a teenager. And, going quickly towards my 48th birthday, I certainly wasn’t teen anymore for a long time now.
It seemed to me that she was from an age when people thought they would live only 60 to 70 years and expected to do that.
So I understood that she felt kind of deceived by someone who was betraying her in some way, because she was still alive more than 30 years after that lifetime estimative.
And as she certainly didn’t take care of her body with exercises and proper food all those years, it was becoming harder and harder to walk, read and even taste food, as she used to complain lots of times.
Every time she felt worse than usual she would go to her traditional western medicine doctor, who would prescribe her many medicines and sometimes agreed with her that some needed surgeries would be a waste of time and money at her age.
I could clearly see that she was tired of living and that the way she was living wasn’t the way I wanted to live my life if I ever got to the age she was.
Her body was weak and with a visible very high fat percentage, her breathing was hard when she walked or had to do something simple as going in or out of a car, for instance. So she barely went out of her apartment.
Two hired women took care of her, one during the week and another one during the weekends.
These women were important as a good company for her too, because she used to live a very lonely and boring life, which got some spice every time someone like me, my sister, my uncle and some cousins called.
In this particular week of September of 2012 I had come by plane to stay with her for 7 days, because I wanted to spend more time with her for a while.
Besides that every time I came to visit her, she was always complaining and saying that I should stay longer and that I always spent so few days visiting her.
It was a great week, I loved being with her, especially during some hours of each evening after her soap opera, during which we would solve crosswords, something that she loved doing.
It was so cool to see her brain still working and remembering some words that I had never heard of before.
And I really wanted to show her my appreciation for all the times she was kind with me while I was still struggling with my invisible and not acknowledged disease…
The 7 days passed fast and on Saturday morning at 5:00 am when I had to go out to take a cab to the airport, she pretended to be sleeping, because she didn’t want to cry for goodbyes.
So I didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye and thank you to her before she would go to her last trip.
In Londrina everything was calm and our unstressed routine was the same during the 3 weeks that followed, until a Wednesday afternoon, when I received a phone call from my sister.
When you live far from your family and receive unusual, unexpected phone calls or internet messages, you are always thinking that something bad happened.
You learn that it’s true the saying: no news, good news!
Bad news flies, while good news seems to prefer to take a ship cruise through the oceans before reaching your ears.
Well, as you may be already expecting, my sister had something bad to tell me about Granny. She had fallen in her bedroom, broken her head and was in a hospital, unconscious, in the Intensive Treatment Unity.
Before that, I was always already in alert state and prepared to go there as soon as needed, if they needed me for anything related to Granny.
So in less than an hour I searched and bought a ticket for the next possible flight to Porto Alegre and was there in less than 6 hours, after that unwanted and undesired bad news phone call reached me as a punch in the face.
When I opened the door of the “now very empty and desert” Granny’s apartment with my own key, which I had for more than 30 years, I was carrying with me 2 suitcases.
In the smaller one I had my clothes for the days that I would be there, that could be a few or a lot, it all depended on the health state of my last ascendant, the last big link that I had with what I used to call “my family”, before constituting a family by myself.
The other bigger suitcase that came with me inside the passenger’s compartment was carrying something much more precious to me.
When you go to the supermarket usually they only have unripe bananas to sell, so you need to buy them, put them in some place and wait some days before you can really eat them, which is going to happen as soon as they have many black spots on their peels.
So my wife and I have developed a routine especially for the buying and ripening of fruits in general and bananas in special, as they are the staple of our diet.
We are used to eating 140 bananas a week, most of them consumed by me.
And Tuesday is the special promotion day in the supermarket; it’s when the bananas’ price gets really low!
Which lead us to go there and fill a cart with that huge amount of bananas, amazing people around us, who sometimes ask and are troubled to believe that we eat so many bananas a week!
So, when my sister called on that fatidic Wednesday we had many ripe bananas that should be consumed in the next days and I would need them with me wherever I’d go anyway.
In order to let you know how precious that banana load was to me, I can tell you that during the following days, going to the hospital and coming back to an empty and sad apartment, the look of the banana suitcase was shining like diamonds to me.
I was making banana smoothies with that famous blender when I woke up, before going out, and when I got back to the apartment.
And I was carrying bananas with me to eat on the go all day long, while I watched other people from my family eating things that I knew that wouldn’t help me in any way, things that used to make me unsocial and unhappy, even unwilling to live.
The waiting room near the Intensive Treatment Unity was always full of family people who would come to show that they were worried with Granny’s delicate health situation.
So for me it was a good opportunity to talk with cousins who I hadn’t seen for many years.
And we all went through this waiting social gathering routine during 3 long days, during which we would be trying to make prognostics of what would happen next.
The imagined possibilities would be that Granny would live and recover well, live and recover being in an almost vegetative state, live and recover and not being able to think and speak OR that she would simply die in some days or weeks.
The doctors didn’t have any good news and were saying that “the worst” could really happen, because Granny’s brain was damaged with the blood that flowed into it after the impact of her head on the floor.
Only problem is that we didn’t know what would be “the worst” scenario.
None knew the reason she fell, maybe because she was weak, maybe because she had a cardiovascular accident, maybe simply because she was too old and her end time had arrived.
Knowing that she was always telling that she wanted to die, our emotions were divided, between wanting her to stay with us and letting her go and rest in peace.
For me staying alone in her apartment, with the days passing, it was becoming really hard and painful, because every place and thing in that apartment remembered me of her, my grandpa and many things that happened there since I was a very little child.
But I didn’t know that that suffering wouldn’t last for so long…
Having had realized how important and good for health it is to sleep 9 hours or more each night, on Saturday I went to bed at 9:00 pm intending to sleep until at least 6:00 am, without knowing that in reality that night I wouldn’t sleep more than a couple of hours.
At 10:25 pm the phone rang, I answered and my sister told me that Granny had passed away and that I needed to go to the hospital with some of her clothes for the funeral that would take place in the next day.
Half an hour later I was meeting my sister, my uncle, his wife and some dear cousins, and spent all the night deciding together with them the place where would be the funeral, buying the coffin, flowers etc.
Granny always wanted to be cremated, so this streamlined some decisions, as much as the fact that she already had even chosen the place where the wake ceremony would take place.
Once everything was bought and decided, someone left me at my dear departed grandmother’s apartment and I tried to sleep a little more, before having to go the wake ceremony.
At 8:30 am on Sunday, there I was meeting lots of people who came to say goodbye to Granny.
Sometime later, while I was talking with some cousins, my sister comes to talk to me and asks me if I’d like to speak some words representing the family. She and my uncle didn’t want to do it, so it was me or none from the family and only a priest.
I immediately said yes because I thought that Granny really deserved at least a short tribute speech.
And it was some minutes later, making an effort to elaborate that little speech, that I realized that my grandmother could really rest in peace with the certainty of having accomplished her life mission, at least in my regard.
One quote of Illusions from Richard Bach popped in my mind and tears came out of my eyes:
“Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.”
During the many years that Granny used to say that she was tired and wanting to have already died I would use this very same quote to tell her that something was still missing to be done in her life.
I guess she never understood the deep meaning and beauty of this quote, because she used to get angry at me. I didn’t agree with her and surely didn’t want her to feel depressed. I wanted to uplift her spirit.
But now she was really gone and I needed to say some farewell words in front of more than 250 people who were there to express, for the last time, how much they were grateful for all the years she was a support for them too.
And I was beginning a new chapter of my life story since I started on a raw vegan diet eating lots of bananas that made me feel happy all the time without any special reason.
Those bananas and many other fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds were making me feel so great, but SO GREAT that I had just figured out that I had suffered from depression all my life, without knowing it.
My father had a bad temper and used to be very aggressive without any particular reason, having huge mood swings during all his life.
This bad behavior was the main reason for the destruction of his relationships with my mother, my sister, me and many other people, professionally and personally.
And I followed his steps and suffered the consequences of this erratic bad behavior since I was a 5 year old kid, as I recall until now.
During all my adolescence I remember my mother comparing myself to him in a bad way.
It was never a good thing to be compared to my father, but I thought I had no choice, because it was “genetic”.
And so I lived always afraid of how I would behave with people who I already knew and people who I just knew, because sooner or later I was sure I would be angry at them without any particular reason at all.
Actually something inside of my mind would find reasons not to like any person who got in contact with me.
My tolerance was very low even with my wife and daughter, so they were the ones who suffered more with my mood swings and unstable behavior.
And I felt awful being aware of this situation, which happened in my businesses too.
My inner life was a living hell!
Even though my outer life most of the times had everything to be perfect!
Inside myself I used to live with many negative thoughts passing through me, even though I used many “mind control” and “let it go” techniques in order to stay positive.
But everything changed now with my new raw vegan diet and lifestyle!
It was so easy to stay positive with this diet and I felt so happy and so good and stable, that I soon realized that I had suffered from depression all my life without knowing it.
In the past, low self-esteem and negative thoughts of shame, guilt, and isolation and even about suicide used to be my most frequent companions, inside my mind.
And oscillating from highly enthusiastic to very low states of energy was very common in my life story.
Well, discovering my cure to this sickness state, I also realized that my father suffered from the same disease and I began to wonder how different his life would have been if he just ate lots of fruits everyday too!
With tears in my eyes, preparing to speak some tribute words in Granny’s crematory funeral, I was realizing that now I had finally become a fully responsible adult that didn’t need a grown up taking care of me anymore.
Granny had finally finished her mission on Earth; she could rest in peace, while I was just beginning to realize what my black sheep’s mission would be in this lifetime.
Wondering how many people would still be suffering out there from depression and many other diseases, I wanted to help them recover and get well.
I wanted to help them change their destinies of “quiet desperation” and going “to the grave with the song still in them”, as Henry David Thoreau wrote.
Raw foods and specially fruits made my life so much more worth living that I needed to spread the raw food movement message.
I needed to share this almost overall solution to many diseases, such as cancer, diabetes, depression, and many others.
And I also loved to see the athletic accomplishments that became possible to so many people who started on this raw vegan diet.
There are so many raw vegan athletes who are running ultra-marathons, bodybuilding, canoeing, etc.
So many 70+ year young women who are sexy and looking 40 and so many 70+ year young men who are strong with lots of muscles popping up in their bodies.
While too much people, hundreds of millions actually, are suffering from obesity and many other bad health effects from the Standard American Diet that the entire world started following.
Besides that, we can’t stay quiet while billions of animals are also suffering and dying every day, just to be turned into bad food for those already or soon to be diseased people.
So I started the RawVeganPower.com blog and it really became my mission to help other raw vegan movement leaders to reach their goals.
My personal goal is to reach 1,000,000 people with my raw vegan power message of health and happiness.
Well, my grandmother died suffering from “living too much” inside a weak body that used to receive many medicine doses on a daily basis.
We need to change this destiny for us.
We need to make our lives totally worth living for as many years as we live till we finish our personal life missions.
Having a life mission gives meaning to everything you do. Everything starts to make sense and you don’t need to think so much about the value of every one of your actions. Flowing is inevitable.
Let me give you one tip to help you find a life mission for you. Actually this tip comes directly from Mahatma Gandhi to you:
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
The keywords here are the last ones: “others” and “service”. Thinking about ways you could be in “service” of “others” improve their lives you will find yourself and your life mission.
I feel empowered every time I remember one million people who I’m supposed to reach with the raw vegan power message!
Working with meaning becomes easier and full of pleasure!
Living on purpose makes every breath worth 10x more!
Be the change you want to see in the world, as our dear Gandhi said too!
When you do that a lot of mental chatter simply disappears.
Find your life mission and you will start to clear your mind deeply.
And a clear mind is the real magnet you need to have to attract all you need to accomplish your life mission.
Everything starts to make sense… now!
Keep reading RAW NOW! The Best Way to Clear Your Mind and Be Happy!, by clicking here.